Enrich Adorn Lushes RedHead

Learning how to be patience

Learning how to be patience when the situation isn’t well. These past couple of weeks have been pretty hard for me. I’m still looking for work and need to dumb down my resume, which even, than… I don’t think I’ll get hired, because I’m the outsider here, need him to realize that I’m always last in his life, need to have patience with a jealous 19 year old. I don’t know, if I can handle it all.

Yes, I don’t have to worry about waking up and going to work, but I still only get about 3 to 5 hours of sounded sleep a night. Which isn’t good, because I’m pretty moody the following day.

As for my relationship, I really don’t know… I’m happy with him, the move and the lifestyle change, but I’m not happy with the shorter end of the stick. I’m always the last to receive his attention. All I want is for him to realize this, but it’s always comes out in a huge drama fulled bullshit fight. After all the homework, friends distractions and errands. I’m the last person to receive his affection, which really sucks… Because this means the sex becomes crummy and his pretty moody and I’m left with wanting more of him. I feel this isn’t fair to me. I really don’t say much, but when I do I’m always bitchy about it and don’t know how to say it without becoming more pissy about the whole situation. I don’t know why I just can’t come out and say this, instead of realizing after becoming a bitch.

The living arrangement, I heart my room and bed with him, but I dislike living with someone who is 19 year old and acts like a 5 year old when he doesn’t get his attention from him. He only wants his attention in anyway he can get it… Even it means for him being child towards me, which I really do hate. This always puts him in the middle and me looking like the dumbass. Anyways… I’ve decided to call him out on it. Hopefully, he’ll realize and this whole situation will be resolved. I really hate kids!

As for the whole lifestyle change. I’m okay. I’m well. I need my relationship to be stronger and sound. I need to be able to sleep at night. I need to be a lot less pissy when I’m annoyed with the 19 year old. I need his affection and support. Man, there’s a lot of I NEED here. I want to be sound again. Maybe, this is the reason why I never called anyone my boyfriend for so long.

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May 4, 2010 - Posted by | Be

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